


Seven Days in June

by Bittercape (bittercape)



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Japan, M/M, Quarantine, Slice of Life, These Four Idiots, vague pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:15:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28270755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bittercape/pseuds/Bittercape
Relationships: Commander James Barnes/Howard Carter (Rusty Quill Gaming), Zolf Smith/Oscar Wilde
Comments: 18
Kudos: 54
Collections: Rusty Quill Secret Santa 2020





	Seven Days in June

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Splashattack](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Splashattack/gifts).



**MISSION REPORT**

Cdr. J. Barnes, 23rd of June 18xx [ _last two numbers illegible_ ], Okinoshima

Mission objective not achieved. Subject observed for 7 days and no contact pattern can be determined. Minor injuries sustained [ _here, in a different hand, is written the following: "Minor? I was suffering! I sat in excruciating pain in the rain for two entire days because you are a heartless, bootlicking -" Note ends in a jagged line off the paper’s edge_ ] and healed upon return. Quarantine entered willingly. 

Repeat observation of subject is recommended at a later date.

End report.

***

**Extract from the diary of Howard Carter**

25th of June

Gods I hate quarantine. It’s so mind numbingly boring. You’d think Oscar Wilde of all people could provide us with something decent to read while locked in an actual cell in an actual basement, but noooo. The only things to read down here are the Campbells Zolf doesn’t love, and to be quite honest, if even Zolf doesn’t enjoy them they must be the absolute dregs; and that godsawful tome on military strategy that Barnes reads whenever we’re stuck down here. And I can’t read that, seeing as he’s already reading it. Not that I’d want to anyway, it looks like it’s the only thing more boring than watching the moss grow on the walls. Figures Barnes would pick something like that. Dull dull dull. 

[ _Several sketches over the next few pages; one close study of moss, an accurate representation of a Leucobryum subspecies, probably Leucobryum subobtusifolium; several rough sketches of a dark-haired man reading, presumably Cdr. Barnes; a series of crude drawings of penises; a circular maze with two solutions._ ]

There are 73 stones in the western wall. I know this because I have counted them several times. Counting from the inside corner, the stone eight across and five up is loose, and there’s a space behind it. I know this because I’ve stashed several bottles of whisky behind it in anticipation of being locked in. That doesn’t help me now, however, because _bloody Barnes_ is locked in with me as bloody usual and he would never stand for it. Maybe if I stashed some rum instead. Worth considering, making a note of that. 

Oh gods I’m bored. I’m considering taking up some kind of religion just to have something happening. Maybe Zolf will let us have a deck of playing cards and I can talk Barnes into playing something that isn’t poker, because yes I did indeed learn my lesson the last time I was stuck in here with him and ended up without several weeks worth of pay as well as my best shirt. 

POKER

[ _Several rows of numbers are crossed out. The bottom line reads:_ ]

Barnes: 36 gold + 1 IOU for an unspecified favour

Carter: 3 copper pieces

***

**KITCHEN TALLY**

Number of times Mr. Wilde has set fire to something: 4

Number of times Mr. Carter has attempted to steal cabbages (presumably for fun?): 13

Number of times Mr. Smith has attempted therapy through cooking: 24, every one while Mr. Wilde has been delayed on missions

Number of times Mr. Barnes has done anything objectionable at all: 0

Bottles of sake consumed, accumulated: ~~10~~ ~~43~~ ~~62~~ ~~102~~ ~~112~~ ~~118~~ 203

Number of times Mr. Carter has weaseled out of doing the dishes: Every. Single. Time.

***

**QUARANTINE REPORT**

June 27th

Barnes and Carter have been quarantined post-mission for 4 days. Behaviour is consistent with previous occasions. No changes in health or personality observed. 

ZS

***

**Note written by Oscar Wilde**

[ _Paper is torn at three edges, measuring approx. 17x12 cm. Handwritten in purple ink_.]

TO DO

  * Write Curie about funds
  * Write to Hiroshima for background information about one Celiquillithon Sidebottom
  * Enquire about weather reports from Sapporo, Shanghai, and Changchun
  * Can we possibly get some kind of regular schedule with Einstein instead of him just randomly dropping in please 
  * ~~Talk to Zolf about the Poseidon thing~~ okay not that then
  * Send Barnes to get something to eat other than fish 
  * Write Saira al-Tahan about what happened to those financial reports



***

**Extract from the diary of Oscar Wilde**

29th of June

One would think, with the world at stake, that one’s mind would be entirely occupied by the war effort. One would be wrong.

I am reasonably certain I remain outwardly professional, and that my ~~colleagues~~ ~~subordinates~~ ~~staff~~ friends (?) do not suspect, but this damnable infatuation will not stop. My tried and tested method of replacing one romantic aspiration with another seems impossible, unless I were to try it on with Barnes - at which point I believe Carter might attempt to murder me in my sleep. Which would at least be diverting, but unlikely to be worth the risk.

Zolf remains an enigma. What is his mysterious relationship with Poseidon? What happened to his hair? Why is he so damned attractive to me? And how will I possibly handle this situation? 

I will probably try this new exciting method of burying myself in work until I bleed out of all my orifices again. Maybe Grizzop will come back from the dead to yell at me some more. Or Azu will be resurrected to heal me. Personally I think Aphrodite owes me. 

***

**Note written in the ledger of Yamamoto Ryu, Innkeeper**

[ _Note appears between a bar tab for four separate people and a copy of an order for a number of new tables, dated June 31st_. _Rough translation from Japanese provided by Sassraa of the Okinoshima Clan_ ]

Some day soon I will physically bash their heads together. How did I end up with _two pairs_ of oblivious idiots? Anyone can see they’re mad for each other, all those sneaky little glances are enough to drive anyone to despair. My poor liver will not thank me for all the drinking I will have to do to forget the horrific flirting of last night. 


End file.
